Beginning is always the hardest part.
I am not very good at speaking to groups of people, so I will do my best.
I was brought to a saving knowledge of Christ when I was four, every night mom read to us the story of the crucifixion, and that particular night it had brought me to tears. Mom asked me what was bothering me and I told her it wasn’t fare that Jesus had to die when he hadn’t done anything wrong, I understood that Jesus was the sinless son of God, mom explained to me that if Jesus hadn’t died we all would go to hell, I felt so indebted to Jesus that I repented of my sins and was saved.
I remember after that, every night I would ask dad “I didn’t get in trouble today, was I perfect was I like Jesus?” he explained to me that no matter how hard I tried I would never be sinless even the times I thought of doing something bad and didn’t that Jesus said it was just a s sinful. It broke my heart, but he also told me that because Jesus died for my sins that I was perfect in Gods eyes and that if I prayed the Jesus would help me to become sinless.
Over the next few years my Love for Christ did not dim often mom would catch me sitting on our front step belting at the top of my lungs “Jesus loves me” for the whole neighborhood to hear. Every one of my friends knew that I was a Christian, slowly I began to care more about what people thought of me that what God wanted me to do and God was pushed a little farther back.
When I was nine my father left my mom and my world was torn apart, daddy had been the apple of my eye, I may have loved him more that God intended me to. I don’t remember a whole lot of that time of my life, only that my goal was getting daddy back, Once aging God took second.
God is a jealous God and he has every right to be, I should have turned to God in my times of need. God teaches us lessons, we are disciplined and scolded, we are called back and we are pulled back when we ignore him, he makes himself heard. Dad had become my little “G” god , he was my hero.
When I was eleven I lost my hero, he died of a cardiac arrest, a result of his sinful lifestyle. I believe that he is with God, and that his passing was the very best thing that could of happened to him, It was a blessing a proof of Gods everlasting love, I turned to God in my grief, in a way that a child who has lost a parent should. I talked to him almost every night told him of my troubles and prayed for help. He listened, he answered and most of the time he gave me the things I prayed for, some of them took so long I had forgotten I prayed for them, like dad, Barry.
I was baptized in this church and I seem to have come full circle, because here I am giving my testimony.
I said earlier that beginnings were the hardest, well endings are next in line.
No comments:
Post a Comment